BALTIMORE, MARYLAND — Michael Bloomberg’s friend Zeyi Yin always snaps him hexagons in the middle of the night, and he wishes she would vary it up by sending over some trapezoids instead.
“There are so many shapes out there to choose from. Hexagons are so played out, like the mainstream political establishment,” said Michael.
But his most significant issue is how much Zeyi brings up her classes. Namely organic chemistry.
“Seriously, Zeyi keeps telling me how hard Organic Chemistry is! Try pronouncing Johns Hopkins correctly. Or being a Sociology major in a competitive labor market,” said Michael, who has been searching for a full-time job since he graduated 2 years ago.
Zeyi is hopeful that they can mend their friendship because it’s the only one she has being a pre-med.
“I wish Michael told me how much my ochem snap bothered him, I guess I’ll send him pics of me studying in the library instead. Maybe even throw in a couple aesthetic coffee photos with my name written wrong,” said Zeyi.
Dr.R. B. Woodward, a professional in friend psychology, yes, he went to school for that actually, argues that this whole issue is just a natural part of adolescent growth.
“People become distant for a variety of reasons. My wife left me for my neighbor Nikola since he’s an engineer. Ironic really because he pulled an Edison on me. But it’s normal. I’m fine.”
Gregor Mendel, a mutual friend of both Zeyi and Michael, is hopeful the friends will come back together.
“They are two peas in a pod. Zeyi’s the dominant one, Michael is a little quieter. Like an appearing-in-the-2nd generation-1-out-of-4 type of guy. But I always imagined them together. In my free time, I do Punnett squares mapping out the genotypes of their potential offspring.”
In the meantime, only time will tell if the friendship will continue…and if Michael’s sociology degree was worth it.
