WILLIAMSBURG, VIRGINIA — Linus Pauling is a professor in the Chemistry Department at William and Mary.
He is a popular lecturer on campus, with 4 stars and a chili pepper icon on the review site RateMyProfessor.
Professor Pauling has recently decided to start a punk rock band, named “Chemical Bondage,” with several other faculty members.
After a recent exam where a vast majority of students failed and have decided being a doctor probably isn’t a feasible idea anymore, the professor decided to offer an extra credit opportunity (instead of structurally changing the class, to make the tests similar to the coursework and homework).
“I think I’ll add 5 points to the midterm if they come jam with my band. Another 2 points if they follow us on social media. Another 2 points if that can set-up that up for us,” said Professor Pauling.
The students in his classes are excited for the chance to improve their grades while hanging out with their favorite faculty person.
“It’s awesome that my chemistry professor is in his own band. It makes me feel like I have something to talk about with my friends other than the fact that I’m a pre-med, and my classes are hard,” said Junior Louis Pasteur.
Some members of the campus community are concerned with the ethical ramifications of the extra credit opportunity for the professor’s benefit.
“This is a slippery slope. First, it’s extra points for attending a band practice. Next, it’s ‘drop out of school and tour around the country with my chemistry cult,’” said an anonymous physics professor.
Professor Pauling is ignoring the criticism, “How I choose to run my class is up to me. The students should be following Pauling’s rules to determine the course’s structure.”
You can now stream “Chemical Bondage” on Golgify and Newton’s Music.
