HANOVER, NEW HAMPSHIRE — A report published Monday by the Dartmouth College Department of Anthropology revealed that undergraduates and grown adults on social media, who are critical of psychology majors, are deflecting their own academic insecurities.
“The research is clear on this, psychology majors are an easy punchline for people who haven’t progressed as much in life as they would have hoped,” said Carl Jung, a co-author of the report. Dr.Jung reiterated that hating the major “…will not make your wife or children actually like you.”
The implications of Jung’s research are far-reaching, threatening to disrupt the public perception of other “soft” fields, such as sociology, anthropology, political science, and chemical engineering.
B.F. Skinner is a current freshman at Dartmouth who is planning on majoring in psychology and found the report’s findings reassuring.
“I want to be a Psychology major because you can do so much with it. I can’t specify what that really entails, but that seems to be the case. Well, that’s at least what all the upperclassmen told me,” said Skinner.
Jean Piaget, a Junior Psychology major, also felt validated:
“Honestly, whenever someone asked me what I was studying, I would say “I’m pre-med” even though that’s not a major but a professional track. Or I would say psychology pre-med, together, really quickly. Now I can say psychology and be proud.”
But Shawn Hannity disagrees with the report.
“Just a bunch of snowflakes with their psychology major and learning. Boohoo student loans! When I was their age, I went to the school-of-hard-knocks and majored in USA! USA! USA!” said Mr.Hannity.
Dr.Jung still believes more research has to be done to understand why so many students are drawn to become psychology majors in the first place.
This phenomenon persists even though the eventual career path these students pursue (if they get one) has nothing to do with any of their academic courses.
